I thought it mattered when it didnt and all that I have stopped suddenly hurts me I try to run away but freedoms eyes avert me I am stuck in this limbo of darkness in some corner of nowhere and somewhere
I thought if I just stopped life.. it would stop hurting but it hurts even more than what it did when I lived it The Nothingness is swallowing me I chase after something and it hurts me purposely
Im scared now... destroyed never it seems Is destroyed meaning nothing left? Or something? the nothingness of Abyssfullness hurts more than the somethingness it seems.
******************************************************* My name is alexandria Brittany Ruffin. I dont do alot of excersizing. But I love to be playful. I can be sad alot. I stay by myself.. like a loner would. Even if you baught me around people I might be really shy. THe best way to get me to meet friends...would be to introduce me to them like one by one. I stay on the computer alot. I read more than alot. I watch tv regularly. I dont like school its my hell hole. I hate watching people get hurt. I hate watching others not stand up for themselves... like me. I write poetry...
Interests
I love the world, and I hate it all together. I never want world peace because it is a hopeless dream. I only want progression but with each gain there is a loss of knawledge. I want the past back but it only dies. I want love but it only releases hate. I love to read but the stories only give false hope. I want to right but no one will ever understand. I want to sing but I want it to reach all and feel the pain in my voice but it cracks. I want to laugh but it always goes away
Family Guy, Simpsons, Fullmetal Alchemist, Americas next top model, Avatar, Scooby doo,The fameous
*************************************************************
jet Jackson, Buffy the vampire slayer, ANgel, House, and smallville.
Favorite Books
all of harrypotter, all of DeathgateCycle, All of SOveriegn stone trilogy, Eyes of the Dragon by Steven King,Z for Zachariah, Gilly, The Kay(Key), Everlasting
Favorite Quote
Those who stand and do nothing while others are in pain, are working for the side of the offender
feels like i'm alone however I don't get that opportunity It kinda hurts right now I cant describe the insecurity the lonliness I feel that hypnotizes me
Got me thinking all kinds of things so many things that are unreal the feelings I don't even know if realities what I feel
The mind portrays whats real but could a life like this in my mind truely be ideal? The suffocating memorization of pain and envy the consequences for wanting a real reality the speed of the minds productivity is without a doubt stunning The Physical and Mental re-newity I know it exists
It sits there somewhere behind that mist the gray mist that shows me whats amidst but doesn't reveal its self to me I'm left in an abyss
This sea of Gray haze its drowning me I cant understand what anything is these days I'm even doubting me
I'm trying to wake up but I'm too busy trying to breathe I'm trying to not cry keep my cool but that's not me its a lie I'm trying to stay at ease but its confusing this time
I'm trying to keep my cool but my minds escaping Does this make sense to you? I think the haze is gods shadow forsaking
My mind doesn't make sense to me either I'm in a mental maze blinded by a mere haze of my own thoughts Do ordain or at least refrain from mentioning being inhumane but is not to restrain
myself from committing the act of spiritual releasal from this tomb I call a body its so extinctional such multifunction is multifiction
condemnation I would say The ending of days the ending of haze the ending...
happy to be your friend alexandria I think you have an interesting life thanks for the comments and excuse the Spanish, I'll try to keep things in my native language from now on a big hug 4U
Alexandria is on fire with the hot tears of Cleopatra as the great library becomes the fuel of Caesar's indignation
Crimson sails doused in perfume incendiary offerings to fan the proud Roman heart from coals to conflagration an all-engulfing passion that will set ships ablaze and scorch the very earth
ages pass now Alexandria slumbers beneath the sea bright fish and grey sharks play their never-ending game
Alexandra burns with beauty and knowledge, a fever in her eyes
A poet in a shirt of fire crafted by the hand of Alexandra weaves sparks of promise into words to fan her fever into flames and change the mystic union of her name into an incantation
and Alexandra dreams beneath the moon of Cleopatra and her handsome Roman captive
posted this and dedicated it to you, don't know if you saw it it was written by my brother in 2001
lol much fun - but whats the sense of doing that - my poetry isn't dark anymore and its not just a bad time its much more - yes good luckk with that dude - if he remains then just endure! kay! much love for you honey!
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I think you have an interesting life
thanks for the comments and excuse the Spanish, I'll try to keep things in my native language from now on
a big hug 4U
Alan